Day 2 (and im still here)

Right im back so where do i start you had a bit of a pre-face yesterday so maybe i should start on the meat of it all today that however may prove to be a little more difficult than it seems. Because feelings and emotions used to play a big part in my life and everyday decisions, but then i learnt to keep a lid on them and react with a logical mindset. Whch is not always easy and if you play on my emotions to any degree you will see parts of my old character show through. And i hate it when that happens cause when i wear my heart on my sleeve, it is then i usually make the stupidest decisions and do things i end up majorly reggretting. I can put 95% of my worset decisions and actions down to my emotions. Which actually is quiet a big statment to make if you anylyse it long enough. so getting the meat of this blog leaves me with a quandery do i set out through a logical mind and lay it out as i would like to read it or do i open the flood gates and let it all flow out as i believe is the real purpose of these things, but then ppl reading this might wonder which is the real me the Chris in here or the chris i portray which is still the real me but with reigns on. an ex of mine once said of me i was like two different ppl. 95% of the time i was this nice guy, but then this small propotion of the time i was this monster and i actually accept that. But since then i have really kicked myself up the backside and took a real hard look at my life my life and and realised instead of feeling sorry for myself and expecting others to fix my life for me. The only person who was going to change my life was me and that was last year and now im married to the love of my life (a word i once recived in church Said this is the woman i always wanted) and i agree im starting to make a relationship with my son which as we both are so alike can be challenging but i know with gods help and S interferring ill get there lol. and more importantly, and i say more importantly for the reason that. The only way i can achevie all this and make it all sucseed is that i have god back in my heart and that is so settling. when my emotions now rise up God's word calms them when i panic God's word settles me when i worry gods word gives me hope when im scared gods word gives me courage i think your starting to get the idea. I can't say enough how much god has done in my life i cant tell how much i owe him. gods word say's and dont ask me to quote the scripture cause i cant but if any of you know it feel free to leave it in the comment's and i think this is a good way to close today's blog. Gods word says"he who lose's his life for me shall truly save it" and my life is a living testomony to that.